Sex Therapy for Gay & Queer Men

My individual sessions are private, one-on-one, and grounded in evidence-based approaches. We move at your pace. The work goes as deep as you want it to.

In session, we might look at the stories you've carried about sex since childhood, values around sex, patterns that keep repeating, something specific that feels impossible to name, or simply a desire to understand yourself more fully. Whatever you bring is valid here.

Non-monogamy and polyamory are widely practiced in gay and queer communities — and widely misunderstood in therapy rooms. Most therapists either pathologize the structure itself or lack the experience to engage with its real complexity. I have expertise and practice nonmonogamy in my own life. You can be confident that your relationship concerns will be heard and handle with care.

What we can work on is you inside that structure: the jealousy that surprised you, the hierarchy that's leaving you feeling secondary, the part of you that wonders if you actually want this or are performing it, the grief when a connection ends, the anxiety around safer sex and disclosure, or the creeping sense that your needs aren't being met but you can't quite say so. Non-monogamy removes the default script — which is freeing, and also means you have to build everything consciously. That takes real work.

Sexual shame rarely announces itself. It shows up as hesitation, self-censorship, fear, avoiding intimacy, or a quiet internal voice saying you're too much, or not enough. Most of those messages were absorbed long before you had language to question them.

In this work, we trace those roots, name the systems and people that planted them, and slowly replace shame with something more honest — curiosity, self-compassion, and the actual freedom to live as yourself. I take internalized homophobia and religious trauma seriously as clinical concerns, not just background noise.

Coming out isn't a single event — it's a process that unfolds over a lifetime, in different rooms, to different people, at different costs. The grief and complexity involved are real, and deserve serious attention.

I offer space to work through what coming out means for you specifically — the fear, the relief, the losses, the relationships that shift. Late-in-life coming out carries its own particular texture: years of a built life, a different kind of grief, a different kind of courage. I take all of that seriously.

Sexual wellness isn't about having less sex, more sex, or "better" sex by someone else's definition. It's about a relationship with your own sexuality that feels integrated, free, and genuinely yours.

For some men, this means examining patterns around apps, hook-up culture, or behavior that feels compulsive — without the shame or pathologizing that too often comes from non-affirming providers. For others, it's about reconnecting with desire after a long period of avoidance or numbness. I approach all of it with a sex-positive, non-judgmental framework. There's no wrong starting point.